what is up and down

i am a bit worried i still dont have passes for the premiere night of star wars III. today is filled with disappointments. i am expecting things really good and it turned out not so well. oh, how dark myh life now. i know the sun will shine but i want it right away. guess not. just see me crossing fingers. a minute ago, i felt so envy of other bloggers who did very well in their sites. i wish i can do it. but seems impossible. well, there are just some people born to hurt your feelings. thats why i dont feel like visiting much of it. anyway, theres not much sense on it. but even if i am envy, i know its not the one that matters. its the thought on the web -- on the subject that triggers the interest. so maintenance is really very important so people keep visiting your webpage. Just like movies. I read the daily national newspaper this morning and what Zhang Ziyi quoted there is very true. She said in the interview that even if she had made movies in hollywood, she still dont feel shes a hollywood superstar rather an outsider. and that not all big-budgeted films are good in the sense that its the stories that matter.

by the way, still today, i had gone to the city hall to get my cedula. i gave them the wrong one so i need to produce it like right away. it was a great feeling also to just go out from work and go somewhere. i am always stuck in my work so i really miss going outside. unlike when i dont have the job yet. so now, iam really busy, working more than 8 hours a day. whew! i wish i can take a good rest for myself.

my relationship to God is a bit unclear. i know He has been so good to me. i should not be here now. enjoying what i should not enjoy. i hadnt been to the church lately and i hope Hes not mad. i sincerely hope He'll forgive me for my sins. i Love You Lord.

i think though Matrix Revolution was rated poorly when it was shown in the moviehouses, i think it still deserve something good like an appreciation perhaps because the entire team - from animators to model makers - did a very good job. i just watched the making of the movie and it's just amazing how they had done such a wonderful masterpiece. Perhaps i was expecting too much for it or about it, expecting something new but i didnt realize that what is behind the movie is just absolutely marvelous. Just buy the DVD and you'll see X)

Philippines: The Country i Love and Hate

I am a Filipino. One of the millions of species who unluckily not yet instinct but still feel the same thing because of the torture the corruptors has brought. i dont feel lucky in that sense. i felt so sick. but that is the way it is. on the brighter side, guess our good Lord liked it this way because the faith of the people remains strong and go deeper. probably this is the country where most people we see in heaven come from. i dont know but i believe.


if you are a tourist wanting to come to my country, convinced with amazing advertisement (take note: the Philippine Department of Tourism never give me such commission, iam just posting it for the sake of information stuffs. whatever) should NEVER come here. I like my country, i dont have hatredd. Iam just so concern of the people who come here expecting for satisfaction but end up disappointed.

note: i need to go to work now. guess im late. ill edit this one as soon as i go online.

movie planet

i am planning to get my reservation for the most talked about movie opening this summertime. Star Wars III. I cannot understand myself why i should think of it a million times. well, not literally of course cz that would make me finish counting next year. it should not be the 100 bucks cz to think its just so affordable and to think that youre one of the very few people to watch it simultaneously over the globe, that is history in the making! but of course, im still thinking whether or not i should head to the counter and ask for the reservation ticket. still have to think. Aaaaahh!

i have just watched "Shall We Dance" movie by J.Lo and Harrison Ford. It is released this month on Video. i havent watched it in the moviehouse. it was a simple movie. if you want to be entertained, the movie will do. if youre like a critic, it's dreadful but you will have a short fun time laughing. J.Lo and Ford carries the movie. The casts were not really that good in acting though and gee, the story, script is for me on C rating. it would be better if they just have it presented in cable channels. its not worth it in moviehauses and iam glad i did not. the only thing i like in the movie is j.lo's moves, whoa! isnt she that hot? of course, who would not agree? Ford did act well. a Pro. so the overall rating would probably be B+.

big challenge

so far not good. i am searching for my senses. i hate it when i am writing impromptu. i am not prepared and my conscience is killing me to post the perfect post. but i dont get it. why perfect when no one is appreciating it. oh, aside from myself. but. okay. brain damaged.

well, i am bloody okay right now if you would ask, thank you very much. of course, that should be natural since i am not in the deepest jungle eating banana with a bald monkey you know. hey, is someone reading this whole thing i am writing? may the angels guide any man in the world connected online to get lost and give me comments. there are millions of people online, can i get some? alright, i am so dying to read a comment from anyone! of course, it should come from the heart but hey, as i wake up to reality i think it would be a lot better if it's a fake one and say good things, at least it make me feel really good. its what important, right? right! and so as worldpeace these days. you see, i have been posting for a while now and still i got no feedbacks. guess everyone is busy writing their own and of course, doing the same thing rather than posting comments. i mean me, myself can not do it for now. maybe a bit later.


i dont feel okay really right now. people at work noticed a BIG change in me. i am always nice to anybody. i am this "blah-blah" guy and talks so much that sometimes people fall asleep. no, of course not! i aint that jerk you know. alright so iam also good at joking too. unless if youre a stranger who can not speak bisaya so i think that ends me up very corny.


so what happened, just today, i changed it all. they left me no choice. they hurt me! oh! tortured my poor heart! so it is like, letting the see how i really feel. i want them to see that something is wrong. iam glad i received a lot of apologies this afternoon but i guess i should stand on my decision this time. let us see if i can be a good actor this time. thats a great challenge for me to do, of until when i will be this firm in changing my character into a very serious guy. i dont know. sometimes, we just have to let anyone see our other side.


i dont know. i really dont.

jerk are burned to be ashes of hell.

iam not okay right now. iam planning to make this day great and with all the expectation, i ended up messy. who cares rather than i do? there are sets of jerks who tried to ruin my day or assigned to make me sick. the bad thing is they succeed. i hate to think that i am starting this whole blog thing with a hearache. im getting paranoid. getting far-off.

the whole point for this is that i should remain like a strong person - untouched by sharp mayhem -- but hey, perhaps you need to open up and wake up to reality! as human as i am and as you are, guess you can relate that i cannot maintain to be nice all the time.

iam a very nice person. there are times i think that i never get angry or things like this may come. but now! guess my patience is already cut off. i need to change my character. im flipping
another side of me that im sure many wont like but you know, you just have to do
it to make them realize their losing someone. You see, when you lose someone,
you start missing him and realize all what he has done, the good ones of course.
thats what im going to do tomorrow. they will see a different me. of course, not
the one who wears trousers at work matching up with a purple hued hair like
dennis rodman. il be more quite and serious this time. theyre asking it, im
giving it to them. we will see if this time i will succeed.

my dream car 

first time

just starting off.