big challenge

so far not good. i am searching for my senses. i hate it when i am writing impromptu. i am not prepared and my conscience is killing me to post the perfect post. but i dont get it. why perfect when no one is appreciating it. oh, aside from myself. but. okay. brain damaged.

well, i am bloody okay right now if you would ask, thank you very much. of course, that should be natural since i am not in the deepest jungle eating banana with a bald monkey you know. hey, is someone reading this whole thing i am writing? may the angels guide any man in the world connected online to get lost and give me comments. there are millions of people online, can i get some? alright, i am so dying to read a comment from anyone! of course, it should come from the heart but hey, as i wake up to reality i think it would be a lot better if it's a fake one and say good things, at least it make me feel really good. its what important, right? right! and so as worldpeace these days. you see, i have been posting for a while now and still i got no feedbacks. guess everyone is busy writing their own and of course, doing the same thing rather than posting comments. i mean me, myself can not do it for now. maybe a bit later.


i dont feel okay really right now. people at work noticed a BIG change in me. i am always nice to anybody. i am this "blah-blah" guy and talks so much that sometimes people fall asleep. no, of course not! i aint that jerk you know. alright so iam also good at joking too. unless if youre a stranger who can not speak bisaya so i think that ends me up very corny.


so what happened, just today, i changed it all. they left me no choice. they hurt me! oh! tortured my poor heart! so it is like, letting the see how i really feel. i want them to see that something is wrong. iam glad i received a lot of apologies this afternoon but i guess i should stand on my decision this time. let us see if i can be a good actor this time. thats a great challenge for me to do, of until when i will be this firm in changing my character into a very serious guy. i dont know. sometimes, we just have to let anyone see our other side.


i dont know. i really dont.